Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer
Home / Okay Do It Again Watching Down Here

Okay Do It Again Watching Down Here

Post a Comment

Family Guy is an animated goggle box series created past Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999. The show was cancelled in 2002, but after extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on Developed Swim, production of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.

Family Guy and all related characters, episodes and quotes are a copyright of 20th Century Play a trick on. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the Wikimedia Foundation Practice Not merits ownership nor authorship of the contents on this folio. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes just. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, The Wikimedia Foundation, have any affiliation with 20th Century FOX, or its parent visitor, News Corp, in whatever way, shape or grade.
Please read Family Guy/Format for notes on how to utilise and edit this article.

Lottery Fever [edit]

Peter: I simply bought a giant room full of gold coins; I'm gonna swoop into information technology similar Scrooge McDuck.
[cutaway to giant coin room. Peter enters the room on the diving board in swimwear. He jumps and dives, but to state bloodily injured]
Peter: Aaaaagghh! It'south not a liquid! It's a swell many pieces of solid matter that grade a hard floor-like surface! Aaaaaaagh!

Seahorse Seashell Party [edit]

Stewie: Don't worry, Brian, I'manna stay on your side all night, alright? Shh, shh... It'south okay, it'south okay. Do you similar my soothing vocalisation? [Brian looks at Stewie. He sees Stewie in a scarier face up and voices similar Supreme Being with existent lips] Practise you like my soothing voice? R-r-r-r-r-r-return the map. R-r-r-r-r-r-return what yous take stolen from me!
Brian: GAAAAAAGGHH!!!!!! [Brian gets up from Stewie, runs onto a wall, pushing to a endless hallway until the wall separates and he falls] Daaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhh! [fades to darkness]
Stewie: Y'all know, Brian, you may be a dog, only yous're a pretty cool cat.
Choir: Stewie just said that!
Stewie: Take it home with ya!
Lois: Look, the lesser line hither, 1000000, is that you're taking your own problems out on everyone else.
1000000: Oh, my problems? Oh, I see. Is this coming from my "role-model" mother? The shoplifter, the drug addict, the porn star, the whore who let Gene Simmons and Bill Clinton get to town on her? (On DVD, "get to town on her" was replaced with "climb inside her")
Lois: Oh, so what? A...all of those things are behind me at present. I'yard a better person now because of those experiences.
Meg: Are you? Are you a amend person?
Lois: What's your bespeak, Meg?
Meg: My indicate is with all that irresponsible, reckless, idiotic beliefs in your past, that somehow, heh, somehow you have the nerve, the arrogance to consistently and ruthlessly point out my shortcomings.
Lois: Alright, well, fine! Okay, I'm non a perfect female parent; who is?
One thousand thousand: [laughs sarcastically] Non only are you not the perfect mother, you lot're the uttermost thing from! From the moment you gave birth to me, I had to trust you. I had no choice. I needed you to protect me from the globe to, to be my guide, to aid me navigate the difficult, confusing, and vulnerable journeying to become a person. Y'all have done NONE of those things! You're my mother, and yous took a child's trust and smashed it into tiny $.25 in a seventeen-year long mission to destroy something that y'all killed long fourth dimension ago! And honestly, when I plough eighteen, I... I don't know if I ever want to see y'all again!
[Lois's lips begins to quiver, and and then she begins to sob]
Stewie: [looking at his phone] Oh wow, everybody's already Tweeting "Stewie just said that".
Lois: Ugh, yous're right. Y'all're right, I'thousand a terrible mother! I'm and then sorry. I'chiliad so, so sorry Meg! Tin can you always forgive me? Oh God!
[As Lois continues to cry, Peter whispers something in Meg's ear.]
Million: And y'all never let Dad stir pigment anymore, whatever that means.
Peter: I didn't know you knew that, One thousand thousand, merely I'grand glad you brought it up.
Meg: [to Peter] You accept no education, you have no interests, you only do whatever reckless thing you lot want to practice, whenever you desire to exercise information technology, without regard for anyone else. Oh, oh, oh, and when you're non terrorizing the community with your impulsive escapades, yous're being a total jerk to your family unit! You shove your girl's confront in your ass and you fart on it!
[Peter giggles]
Meg: God, if someone in the outside world could encounter the style y'all treat me, you would be in jail!
[Peter laughs again and Meg fake laughs in render]
Million: Oh, this is amusing to y'all? Well, see if you find this funny!
Peter: I like where this is going.
1000000: Y'all're a fat, lazy, calumniating, blue-collar, Irish-Catholic dad who drinks Way too much, and barely makes enough to support his family unit! Y'all've lived half your life, and you have nothing to testify for it! Your only arguable accomplishments are your kids, and expect at us! We're a disaster!
Stewie: Hey, watch information technology.
Meg: Yous're a total and complete embarrassment in every possible style! Have a good await at yourself Peter Griffin! Yous're a waste material of a human being!
Peter: Wait a 2d, these are criticisms! Hey Lois, tell her to knock it off!
Lois: Oh, and where the hell were you when she was laying into me?
Peter: I was thinking about getting a fancy cane, perchance getting more attention from strangers.
Meg: Accept either of you guys been listening to me? Do y'all both but take your heads upward your fucking asses?
Chris: Dad did. Wait, he has shit on his ears!!
Peter: That'southward unrelated.
Lois Griffin: Chris, I don't like that language.
Chris: Well, I don't like your goddamn cooking!
Lois Griffin: Well, I don't like having to literally empty the farts out of your pockets whenever I do your laundry!
Chris: You're the one who's e'er cooking Brussels sprouts and broccoli! Information technology's like an Irish bar fight downwardly there!
[cutaway to a piece of broccoli and a Brussels sprout fighting]
Broccoli sprout: Yous're from one town over, so I hate your guts! [the broccoli and Brussels sprout and then fight Irish bar style]
[cut back to regular scene]
Chris: WHY DON'T WE EVER GET Whatsoever Practiced FOOD?!
Peter: Yeah, Bonnie gives Joe wonder bread!
Lois: Well, and then go alive at Bonnie's firm! Then I could finally sleep in and not take to answer your stupid questions at 5 a.m.!
Peter: My marvel peaks in the morning!
Chris: You swallow all my Dannon yogurts!
Peter: I don't see your name on 'em!
Chris: You don't even like 'em, only y'all know I practice, and y'all don't desire me to accept 'em!
Lois: You know, I've never confronted you lot on it, but I've often thought the same thing, Peter!
Million: Yep, that'southward exactly what he does, 'crusade he'south a selfish, fatty idiot!
Peter: You shut the fuck up! All of youse!
[runs upstairs, then turns to the family with tears in his eyes]
Peter: I didn't enquire to be in this family!
Lois: [sighs] I'll go get him. [picks upwardly Stewie] Peter, you lot come dorsum hither!
Chris: [shouting at Meg] I FAKED ALL MY ORGASMS!!!!
Brian: Hey. What'southward goin' on? Yous know, that was, uh, that was pretty absurd the style you finally stood up to everybody.
Meg: [sighs] I don't know, Brian. I hateful, I, I meant every give-and-take of it, just you saw what happened.
Brian: What exercise you mean?
Million: They all turned on each other similar a pack of wolves.
Brian: Well, so what? That's non your trouble.
Meg: Do y'all call back it'southward possible that that this family unit tin't survive without some sort of lightning rod to absorb all the dysfunction?
Brian: Well, that'southward a theory, I judge.
One thousand thousand: I mean it's non platonic, merely it's an of import piece that perhaps it's merely my lot in life to provide. Maybe if I feel bad, they don't have to.
Brian: Wow. Y'all know, that's incredibly noble and mature, Meg. You lot know, I recall yous might be the strongest person in this house.
Million: You hateful that, Brian?
Brian: Absolutely.
Stewie: [goes to the bathroom and sees Brian] Brian?
Brian: I'one thousand gonna cut my ear off to forestall World War II.
[He faces the bathroom mirror and cuts his own ear off]
Stewie: Aah! Aah! Oh God, oh god! Holy shit!

Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q [edit]

Peter: Aww, that xanthous lab looks like it'south dying.
Lois: Peter, that's Gwyneth Paltrow. She's fine.
Quagmire: Guys, what the hell am I gonna practice? She can't marry that guy! He'southward simply gonna continue beating her and he'due south gonna beat the child too!! God, I wish she'd never met Jeffery Fecalman.
Peter: Y'all know, I was thinking... Wait, what?
Quagmire: What?
Peter: That's his name?
Quagmire: Aye.
Peter: Huh-larious. But you know what, I was thinking this afternoon, what the hell happened to the days where a guy does something like that to a girl, and a agglomeration of u.s. guys assemble and but go kick his fucking ass?
Joe: Boy, that'd be satisfying.
Quagmire: Well, why non?
Peter: What do yous mean?
Quagmire: The three of us, we get over there and we practice what'south right. We impale the bastard!
Joe: Woah, woah, Quagmire. You know, I could abort you merely for saying that.
Peter: You know what else you tin can get arrested for? Soliciting a rooster.
[cutaway to a human and a rooster near a subcontract]
Human being: I don't know what this "Cock-a-putter-doo" affair is, merely it sounds gay and scatological. [pulls out dollar] I'm in.
Rooster: You're about to have a neat day.
[back to the scene]
Joe: Quagmire, you're talking about murdering a guy. It doesn't matter what he'due south done, information technology'due south still murder!
Quagmire: No, Joe, it does affair what he'due south done! These kinds of guys don't change! Y-You think they always suddenly wake up and realize the error of their means and make clean upwardly their human action? NO! They simply go along ruining everyone'southward lives, and the world is amend off without them!
Joe: It's confronting the law, Quagmire, and that's the cease of it. [hears Brenda screaming in fearfulness, the 3 await out the window].
Jeff: WHAT THE HELL?! DID Y'all Modify THE Channel WHILE I WAS GOING TO Go A BEER?!
Brenda: Oh yeah, I'm sorry love. I but wanted to see who was on Letterman.
Jeff: Nosotros'RE WATCHING LENO, YOU BITCH!
Brenda: I'm so deplorable!
Jeff: HIS SOFT GENTLE Humor CONNECTS EFFORTLESSLY WITH MY MAINSTREAM CAPABILITIES! [Brenda screams as Jeff hits her].
Joe: Let's waste this dick.
Jeff: What the hell?! I killed you lot!
Quagmire: I choke myself everyday, you bastard!
Brenda: "Well, I best be rolling on at present".
Quagmire: Come on, who says that?
Joe: It'southward an expression.
Peter: If you lot're in a wheelchair.

Stewie Goes for a Drive [edit]

[Brian is questioning Stewie most the damaged auto]
Brian: Look at this! Do you know annihilation about this?!
Stewie: About what? What a beautiful day - Oh my God, that is surprising! I had to end the concluding judgement in the middle because I was then surprised. What happened?
Brian: Gee, I don't know. Do You lot know what happened?
Stewie: [chuckles] Sorry, what was that? I was laughing at that funny affair yous said how Lois' potatoes "au rotten"?
Brian: Huh. Didn't think anybody heard that. Wish you laughed at the time, but what the hell happened to my car?!
[Stewie is on Television set]
Stewie: Brian, I've decided to run abroad. Don't come looking for me. And definitely don't chase me to the airport and catch me at the gate just before I'm virtually to get on a aeroplane with, like, an emotional speech and mayhap flowers. For instance, it would be awful if all the TSA people were gathered around watching this emotional moment, even the older black female carry-on scanner who initially stopped you at the baggage cheque, merely after you told her of your intentions said, "Go get him, child," in flagrant condone for all newly-implemented post 9/11 security measures. And if yous were bringing a boombox to play music, I would suggest any one of the half-dozen songs:
[the suggested songs scroll over Stewie: "With or Without You" - U2, "Solsbury Hill" - Peter Gabriel, "Unwritten" - Natasha Bedingfield, "Live Like Nosotros're Dying" - Kris Allen, "Give thanks You" - Dido and "Somebody" - Depeche Mode]
Stewie: And then once more, ran away. Don't come subsequently me.
["Thank You" by Dido plays as the prototype fades]

Dorsum to the Pilot [edit]

Stewie: [to Brian] What did I tell y'all nearly altering the past? Wait, when did yous even do that?
Brian: Well, remember when I said I was gonna take a leak?
Stewie: Brian, you shouldn't have done that. Who knows what unforseen consequences are awaiting u.s.? Saddam Hussein could be president. Mexico could be the world'due south ascendant super power. Cookie Monster could take invented Facebook!
[cut to an office with the Cookie Monster and a human backside a desk]
Man: What is this?
Cookie Monster: Cookiebook.
Stewie: There it is! We did it, Brian! Nosotros made 9/11 happen! High five!
Brian: All correct, high five!
[they give each other a loftier 5]
Stewie: Well, that... that probably wouldn't look very good out of context.

Thanksgiving [edit]

Bonnie: Kevin, I desire you to meet your petty sister, Susie.
Kevin: Wow! Hey, little sis. I guess we got some catching up to do, huh? Promise you didn't get scared when I scream and take dark terrors.
Susie: [thought] It's quite alright. I've seen worse.
[cutaway to Susie watching Television set; woman screams and squashes are heard]
Susie [voiced by Patrick Stewart]: A human centipede? How ghastly!
Joe: Okay, let's choice teams; I'll be a captain and, uh... Mayor West, you could be the captain.
W: All correct, I option you.
Joe: You tin can't pick me, I'k a captain.
[cut to living room where an older West is surrounded with vii kids]
West: No-one ever stood up for me similar that before; I respected him thereon out.
Child 1: That's a great story, Grampa.
Child 2: I didn't similar information technology.
[many years later on; a much older West is surrounded with twelve kids]
West: None of my grand children take ever disliked 1 of my stories before; from then on, he was my favorite.
Child 3: Well. I don't like that story, slap-up-Grampa. [West stands upwardly; electrocutes the male child and disintegrates into dust]
West: [breaks quaternary wall] Future old people are wizards.
Lois: If anyone has wanted whipped foam on their pie, it's non my fault. I can't go a fucking word in edgewise effectually here.
Babs: Oh Lois. That irish potato salad looks so good.
Lois: OK, mom. That'southward stuffing. Put your glasses on before you run over another black guy.
Peter: [laughs] No dentist date for this guy!

Amish Guy [edit]

Lois: I can't believe we're stuck in Amish Country.
Stewie: Yeah, I thought something was a-mish. [Brian smacks him upside the caput]
Lois: We can't exist part of a feud with the Amish!
Peter: I didn't showtime this thing, Lois! Simply I'munna terminate it! [goes into the business firm and dials the phone] Joe, round upwardly Quagmire and all the modern day technology y'all tin find! We are goin' to war! Oh, oh. Hey, Bonnie. I-Is Joe in that location? [interruption] Well, tin I exit a message for 'im? Yeah, yeah. Information technology's what I said before 'bout, eh, th-the war affair.
Ezekiel: Yous are banished from our community this instant and have your whore daughter with you!

Cool Hand Peter [edit]

[Peter and the gang get pulled over by a police machine]
Peter: Don't worry about it, guys. I read nowhere that southern sheriffs really wanna be talked downward to past big-shot northerners.
[Peter puts on a Harvard University sweater and takes out a pipe as the sheriff approaches the car]
Sheriff Nichols: Afternoon.
Peter: [in a snooty vocalization] Officeholder, hwhat is information technology? Nosotros are in tremendous urban rush.
Sheriff Nichols: You lot fellas ain't from around here, are yeh?
Peter: [normal vocalisation] Hey, Sheriff. I'g tryin' to learn southern. Is this sayin' anything? Adoi-doi-doi-doi-doi!!
[Peter and the gang are hiding from the sheriff in the sheriff'southward closet. The sheriff comes in and hears a loud fart]
Sheriff: Who'south there!? [cocks shotgun]
Peter: [In a Miss Piggy-like vocalisation] Information technology'south just me sweetie.
Sheriff: Oh. Didn't know y'all were dwelling beloved. Whatcha doing in the cupboard?
Peter: [In Miss-Piggy like phonation] Uumm. Wife...things?
[Lois, Donna and Bonnie lie on the couch, intoxicated.]
Lois: [slurs words] He-he-ey-hey! I got an idea for something that'south gonna be so (Bleep)' funny. [whispers to Bonnie and Donna] Okay, Bonnie, become get information technology. It's in the closet. [Bonnie leaves] Brian! Brian, come out here! [Brian enters the living room reading a book]
Brian: I'm reading.
Lois: [giggles] What...what...whatta you reading?
Brian: Well, I was but finishing Jonathan Franzen'southward volume. Y'know, I'll admit, it has its moments, but it'south completely overrated. I hateful, I'yard not proverb I wrote something similar to it several years ago, simply I am saying..
Lois: Catch him!
[The wives jump on peak of a struggling Brian.]
Brian: What? Hey-hey?! What are you doing? Hey!
Lois: Get his mitt! Concur still!
Brian: Hey hey hey! What-?!
Lois: Push him down onto all fours!
Brian: No! What are you do-?! I don't wanna do this!
Lois: If he actually starts freaking out, put your pinkie in his butt!
[The wives release Brian; he is dressed as a bee and trying to get the costume off.]
Donna: At-home down! Calm down!
[She whacks Brian on the head with the volume. He runs into the stereo and the three women break down laughing hysterically.]
Lois: Now, Stewie!
Stewie: [walks in carrying a pistol] Alright, I guess this is the night bitches die.
Joe: I don't think and so! You're in my juristriction now, Sheriff Butt Breath!
[A group of Quahog cops then came out of a nearby train motorcar surrounding Nichols and his deputies with guns; Nichols and his men promptly drop their weapons and put their hands up]
Joe: You got some nerve driving around my town with a busted headlight. And a busted windshield, and an untreated flesh wound. [Joe shoots Nichols non-fatally] You lot took an adjuration just the aforementioned every bit me, Sheriff: to protect and serve, not to harass and douche! Merely considering yous take a badge doesn't mean y'all tin treat people anyway you like, and as a law enforcement professional person, yous have an obligation to be more than ethically ethical the average citizen, not less! At present get the hell out of my town! [two deputies pick up the wounded Nichols and all of the deputies drive away]

Grumpy Former Man [edit]

[the Griffin family watches the Aqueduct v news]
Tom Tucker: Good forenoon, I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up, we talk to a homo on the street while another man further back on the street flips you off.
Joyce Kinney: But first, Quahog was hit past a major blizzard last night. Here, with more than details on the snowstorm is Asian correspondent Tricia Nakahoma.
Tom Tucker: [annoyed] That's wrong. That's wrong, you lot're not doing good and then far.
[Tricia Takanawa is shown outside, where it's packed with snow]
Tricia Takanawa: I'thou standing here surrounded by snow tourists, stalled cars and the one douchebag that wears a tank top everytime at that place is a blizzard.
Douchebag: Yeah, this is nothin'. Guys at work drank a quart o' motor oil once and didn't even die from it. Put that on the news, but y'all won't.

Million and Quagmire [edit]

Peter: Hey, Quagmire. What's going on?
Quagmire: Well, Peter. A little birdie told me that today is Meg's altogether. [a hummingbird appears]
Hummingbird: You give me credit?
Quagmire: Yeah, I just told him.
Hummingbird: [to Peter] I'm the one who told him. [looks both four times and flies off]
Quagmire: So, where is the altogether daughter?
1000000: Oh. Hi, Mr. Quagmire.
Quagmire: Well, information technology's your 18th birthday, Meg. That's a very important milestone in a young girl's-- I hateful, a young woman's life. Hey, welcome to the developed club, huh? And you lot know what? Yous got another fellow member right adjacent door if you ever wanna talk and stuff. Happy birthday. [pats Meg's left leg. His little finger wiggles] Hey...hey, where's that pinkie goin', huh? Where'due south he goin'? What-what'south he doin'? Get back here. There you become. [Meg smiles then looks at Quagmire]
Peter: Heh-heh! Look at Quagmire hitting on that skank. You know he'south gonna close the deal.
Brian: Peter, that skank is your daughter.
Peter: Oh my God, You're correct!
Quagmire: Y'know, Million. I'd love to run into you without your lid on. [lifts pink beanie. A green mitt emerges from her scalp, pulls beanie down] Okay.
Stewie: Don't worry, Dad. I'll take care of him! [punches Quagmire'southward legs] Stay abroad from my sis!
Peter: Meg, get in the car! Nosotros're going home!
Meg: I'thou non going habitation. I'm 18, and you can't tell me what to practise anymore!
Peter: Million, I'm only gonna say this once! Yous may exist an adult, but you're still my daughter, and it'south my job to protect yous from errant wieners! So I don't intendance how onetime you are, y'all're gonna do what I say and Make it THE DAMN CAR!
One thousand thousand: Yeah, Daddy. [Walks abroad, sadly, Peter follows, Lois walks up to Quagmire]
Lois: If yous ever touch my daughter again, I will cut your thing off and feed it to Brian!
Quagmire: Okay.
Lois: And Peter and I get this cabin for one weekend a month, practise you lot understand me?
Quagmire: Yes ma'am.
Lois: Peter, I got us the cabin!!
Peter: Yay!!
Lois: [Back to Quagmire] I don't ever want to see you on our doorstep for at least a month!
Quagmire: Would you sign the guestbook on your fashion out?
Lois: [sighs angrily and writes] Lois Griffin. Peter Griffin. We heard a loon.

The Blind Side [edit]

Stewie: Of course, the near important office of any workout is a proper cool-down and stretch. [pushes on the stairs and gets a splinter] Aaaggh!
Brian: What? What is it?
Stewie: I've got a splinter! [starts crying]
Lois: [picks him upwardly] Oh my god! Stewie, what is it?
Brian: Oh, he just got a splinter.
Lois: Oh, my poor infant. Information technology's 'cause those stairs are falling apart.
Brian: It'due south not just the stairs. Million has spent two days pinned under a roof axle.
[One thousand thousand is under a roof beam, depressed]
Lois: Let's just focus on the stairs, Brian.
Lois: Peter, hurry up! You're missing dinner.
[Peter screaming and grunting when he falls down the stairs.]
Peter: Lois, what the hell?!
Lois: Oh, my God, Peter, are you okay?!
Peter: What the hell happened to the stairs?! They're all glace at present!
Lois: I had them replaced, remember? The old ones were so rough, and Stewie got that splinter, so I idea replacing the forest was the best style to become.
Peter: When'd y'all do that?!
Lois: The other day, when you spent all that fourth dimension at the drugstore.
Peter: Oh, yes. Couldn't figure out if that Hispanic lady worked in that location or not.
Peter: [to Lois equally she rambles about her day at the function] Seems like you're doing everything and they're doing nothing.
[Lois continues rambling]
Peter: She's plain threatened by you.
Peter: Information technology'due south ridiculous and I support you lot fully.
Peter: Yous can't let them go to y'all.
Peter: They're jealous of what you lot have.
Peter: It'due south zilch to do with you and everything to do with them.
Peter: Only y'all can prevent wood fires.

Livin' on a Prayer [edit]

Peter: Look a infinitesimal, Christian Scientific discipline? Is that—Is that that affair all them gaybo Hollywood actors practice to keep their stuff away from other guys' butts? (On the DVD version, "gaybo" is replaced with "homo" and "away from other guys' butts" is inverse to "out of other guys' butts")
Peter: Okay, now take this walkie-talkie and ostend I'm at the various checkpoints.
Lois: Huh, okay. [speaks into walkie-talkie] Peter up on telephone pole?
Peter: [spying from a telephone pole, lower binnoculars] Check.
Lois: Peter cut the wires to the alarm?
Peter: [cuts the wire] Cheque.
Lois: Sexy Peter distracting the guards?
Peter: [dressed as a prostitute] Bank check. [to the guards] Hullo, boys! Come out and have sex with me one-time.
Lois: Van full of Peters with stern faces because they're about to pull off a heist.
Peter: [shows a vanful of stern-faced Peters] Check.
Lois: Upside-downwards Peter who isn't revealed to upside-down until the camera spins effectually and shows that he is.
Peter: [appears right-side up until the photographic camera spins effectually to testify he's upside-downwardly] Check.
Lois: Peter in an open plane door, slapping Peters on the back as they parachute out.
Peter: [slapping other Peters as they parachute out] Get! Go-go-get-go-go! [into walkie-talkie] Check!
Lois: Super gymnastic Asian Peter, contorted into a box that will be delivered into the firm.
Asian Peter: [shows Peter rolling in a crate and ten-rays to reveal Asian Peter within] Hai!
Lois: Peter who hasn't answered because something has gone terribly wrong. [shows the walkie-talkie on the floor] Peter? Peter, are you there? [zooms out to reveal Peter lying dead with his throat slit equally claret pools around him]

Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream [edit]

[Chris is dating a girl who looks just like Lois]
Stewie: Are they not seein' this?
Brian: I know, it's kinda creepy. It's virtually like he'southward dating Lois.
Stewie: Aye – looks like somebody's getting a little Oedipussy.
Brian: Can we say that?
Stewie: But did.
Lindsey: [dressed every bit Lois] Thanks for buying me these clothes, Glenn.
Quagmire: You're welcome. [to Mort, besides dressed as Lois] And yous're dismissed.
Mort: Exercise I still get to keep the twenty?

Be Careful What You Fish For [edit]

[Billy and Peter both in the bathroom, Peter is naked]
Billy: Don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis?
Peter: Yep.
Baton: Where... where is it?
Peter: Information technology's in there.
Baton: Are you certain, so it'southward like Snuffleupagus downward at that place, is information technology?
Peter: Oh, the hell with this... Lois, get the ruler. We're measuring again, and this time, I determine where the base of operations is.
Peter: I gotta take a bath. [Billy is watching him]
Billy: Go on then. Nosotros're both men.
Peter: Well.... alright I guess.
Billy: At that place you go... [Peter gets naked and Baton starts laughing] ...look at that? What is th... WOAH Solar eclipse blocking the sun, do non look directly at it. [laughs again]
Peter: What... what, what, what the hell... what are y'all doing?
Billy: I'chiliad just making a comment... ummm... demand to know something. Practice y'all hear the discussion "Morbidly" a lot?
Baton: Anyway, I'm off to read Meg'due south diary. I've merely been here 1 night, only I get the sense we all dislike Meg.
Lois: So, Billy. I promise the couch was alright.
Billy: Aye. A lot meliorate than the flooring. And I should know because I went down on the floor, thinking it was gonna be a lot meliorate than the burrow.
[Peter is playing with a dollhouse after doing cocaine.]
Peter: [drunk phonation] Dinner is served. [chuckles, but sees Chris] GET OUT!!!!!!

Called-for Downward the Bayit [edit]

Quagmire: I don't like this, you guys – uh, this is bad... Joe'southward gonna find out, I just know information technology!
Peter: Geez, Quagmire. You need to relax – and I know how to help. Calgon, take him away.
[scene fades. Quagmire nervously leans in the bubbly bath, looking down as the soap bubble around him floats college]
Quagmire: THIS IS WORSE, PETER!
Peter: Relax! This is supposed to exist your fourth dimension! This is the correct way to deal with your problems.
Peter: [soft laugh] I'one thousand want to tell somebody!
Quagmire: Peter!
Mort Goldman: Close your mouth!
Joe'due south cellphone: Oh my god look at this fire me , Mort and Quagmire only started!
[Lois visits Peter in prison]
Lois: How could you do this? Y'all have a family!
Peter: For once, could you visit me in jail and not criticize me?

Killer Queen [edit]

[everyone is cheering as Chris and Yamamoto are eating hotdogs]
Peter: Chris, you lot're four hotdogs backside. Come on,
Chris: Ohh. I can't eat anymore.
Peter: Remember what I told you.
[a dream deject comes equally Chris remembers]
Peter: I get this weird cyst things right on the fringe of my sac. I want to get it checked, simply I'm afraid of what they're gonna tell me.
Chris: He's right. I can do it! [he starts eating up all the hotdogs, then Moto does the same]
[the cablegram beeps]
Announcer: We accept a winner. Ladies and gentlemen, Yamamoto has finally been defeated.
[the crowd cheers as Yamamoto sadly leaves]
Peter: [picks up Chris] Chris, you did it. You're a champion, and now you become your pick of the groupies.
[in that location are four fatty models]
Chris: They're shiny.
Peter: Yeah, information technology's a pretty warm day.

Stewie: What's going on here

Forget-Me-Non [edit]

[Peter replaces a family portrait with a portrait of Laser Tag Times newspaper commodity reading "Peter Griffin Eliminates Enemies. DESTROYS WORLD!"]
Peter: I put our family on the map tonight. No longer will we exist simply those faceless nobodys who brought the bird flu to Quahog.
Lois: Yous know, there's something seriously wrong with the man who always puts his friends over his family unit.
Brian: Come on, Lois. I think you're over reacting. What'due south and so wrong nigh a guy hanging out with his buddies?
Lois: Buddies? You're ane of his buddies?
Brian: Yes, and you know why? 'Cause I don't attempt to tell him what he tin can and can't do.
Lois: Oh, please, Brian. You're merely two people living in the aforementioned firm. If you didn't, you'd never hang out with each other in a million years. He owns yous. You're his property.

Yous Can't Do That on Tv, Peter [edit]

Lois: [telling Peter why he tin can't run out and accept pictures for his book of "lesbian butts in '80s jeans"] Peter, yous're not doing that. I got a ton of errands to run, and I need your aid effectually hither.
Peter: Well, fine. If I can't do the book, I'm gonna hurt something you honey. [opens the cupboard door, pulls out vacuum cleaner, and proceeds to stab the vacuum bag repeatedly, scattering dust all over the room] *Cough, cough* Ya happy now?
Lois: Maybe we should discuss this in the other room. [indicating Stewie] I don't similar fightin' in front of the kids.
Peter: No! I wanna fight in front of the kids! I feed off the excitement of an audience.
Lois: Peter, for once you're gonna stay hither and assistance around the house. Now, I need y'all to watch Stewie till I get back. [leaves]
Brian: [walks into family room holding cup of coffee and paper, and sees the stabbed vacuum cleaner] Whoever did this, thank you.

This is why you shouldn't use wiki, literally anyone tin change information technology. But good luck.

Neil: I tin't dissect this sus scrofa, Mr. Kingman. It's confronting my religion.
Mr. Kingman: Believe me Neil, it's no thrill for the grunter to bear upon a Jew, either. Okay, how about you, Meg? How are you doing?
Meg: Pretty good. It's kinda absurd cutting something that's not me.
Mr. Kingman: [examining One thousand thousand's piece of work] Wow, that'due south some pretty impressive work.
Classmate: It's easy for Meg to dissect a grunter because she is a pig! Ha ha ha!
Mr. Kingman: HEY! ... All correct, I'll let that ane slide.
[Peter places a device, moves the handle and awooga goes the klaxon]
Peter: Uh-oh! Sounds like my cranky new neighbour simply got home – I hope she doesn't come up over hither and give me a business. [knocks the table three times. he picks up a poorly designed boob version of Lois in a high tone] Peeter! [normal tone, irritable] Oh, hi, Saggy Naggy. [high] Never mind with 'hi'! It's sounds similar someone's having fun over here! Y'all know I don't like that. [normal, brusquely] Hey, kids, come across Saggy Naggy. Real squeamish lady, huh?
Kids: NOOOOO!
Peter: What can I do for ya, Saggy Naggy? [high, bawled] Y'all can stop havin' fun! [normal, bugged] Merely nosotros like fun – don't we, kids?
Kids: Yes!
Peter: [high, incredulous] Well, too bad, 'crusade you're all gonna eat your vegetables, listen to long stories about my cousins, and how we fold sheets! [to Peter] And yous! You're gonna help me around the house, accept out the garbage and give Stewie his bottle. [cutting to Stewie on the burrow in sunglasses thru his cellphone]
Stewie: Yep, I heard it – he say my name on Telly all the time, calm downwardly, bowwow.
Peter: [loftier, bawled] Make me dinner, and get rent Twilight, and practise rima oris stuff on me, even though it'southward been a day-and-a-half since I've showered, and I've used several public bathrooms in the acting! [reverts to normal vocalisation] Sounds similar this could go on for a while, kids. Hey Saggy Naggy, I'll know what'll cheer you up. Practise y'all like pie? [high] I guess. [normal] Well, how does this taste? [hits the pie in Saggy Naggy's face, much to the applause and joy of children]

Mr. and Mrs. Stewie [edit]

[Lois covers her ears in bed. Zooms out to Peter hold a gigantic plume feather in the grade of a quill pen, and begins to write]
Peter: "Dearest Augustine, I do promise this latest clammy has not aggravated your greyness lung." [*dips his quill] Dip-dip-dip-dip-dip. "Matters stateside accept taken a tragic turn as this year's gourd crop has fallen casualty to a rather unexpected infestation of salt marsh cutworms." Dip-dip-dip-dip-dip.
Lois: [sits upward] Peter, information technology's 4:00 in the morn; come to bed!
Peter: [writes further] "Marital concerns proceed to bedevil me."
[Two weeks after Stewie planted a flop fix to explode when Mort opens his wallet. Mort strolls thru the sidewalk with Stewie and Penelope backside]
Penelope: Oh, bloody hell, how do yous get ii weeks without opening your wallet?
Stewie: Yeah, he's been out to dinner like four times!
Penelope: We're conspicuously not going to go him this mode.
Stewie: I know. Which is why I just planted another flop that'due south set to go off every fourth dimension he burps into his paw.
[Mort stops abruptly and burps into his hand; a giant explosion engulfs the scene, and then settles and Mort lands onto the pavement]
Mort: Ooohh, I amend make sure my wallet'due south okay. [gets his wallet, opens it and explodes again]
[Lois leaves the en-suite, then stops. Zoom out and Peter is on his twin bed next to Quagmire]
Lois: Peter, what'southward going on?
Peter: Quagmire's havin' a sleepover with me.
Lois: [giggly] Yous can't be serious.
Peter: [securely concerned] Look, Lois, I told ya that I need to have somebody sleepin' side by side to me. Alright now, if that's not gonna be you–
Lois: Fine, do what yous want, I don't care, but I think it's very strange.
Peter: Okay, that'south the one matter that'south not.
Quagmire: Yes, it'south not strange.
Lois: I already told you lot, I don't intendance. [switches lamp off and lies down]
Quagmire: [to Peter] Information technology'due south non strange.
Peter: I know.

Leggo My Meg-O [edit]

Peter: [on the phone] I don't know who y'all are. I don't know what you lot want, but I have a very particular lack of skills. I volition never exist able to find you. But what I practice accept is 2 dollars and a Casio wrist-watch. You can have one of them.
Vocalism on Phone: Drakkar Noir
Peter: These guys are serious. [to Lois] Lois, Million'due south dead!
French Abduction Scout: [dying words afterward being run over by a bus] Oh no... I have chateau-ed myself....

Tea Peter [edit]

Quagmire: Hey, you e'er accidentally masturbate to young pictures of your mom?
Peter: Who the fuck starts a conversation like that? I merely sat down.
Chris: Wait'll y'all see Debbie Reynolds on stage.
Pastor: I now pronounce you hubby and wife. You may kiss the helpmate.
[lifts Quagmire to top with a giraffe]
Quagmire: I'm glad nosotros waited.
[NINE MONTHS LATER]
[the giraffe grimances and, thump! A little giraffe with Quagmire's head stands up, looks direct at Quagmire]
Giraffe Quagmire: Giraffity!
Quagmire: Yeah see, that'due south not mine.
Ryan Phillippe: Would anyone similar to be impregnated?
Brian: Hey! So how's that Tea Political party goin', huh? More like TP Party. [pause] Toilet paper.

Family unit Guy Viewer Mail #2 [edit]

[Mayor Due west approaches a damaged Peter]
Mayor Adam Due west: Boy, that looks enticing. [concord a rod, and lightning electrocutes him] Yeah, this is overnice.
Stewie: I approximate Disney wouldn't let united states of america do the Aladdin one.
Quagmire: Hey, kid. Cm'ere. I wanna see if I can still aroma your mom'south boobs on your rima oris.
Stewie: Why don't y'all get and hump a pile of garbage?
[Stewie wakes up in the morning, and is greeted by Lois.]
Lois: Skilful forenoon, sweetie.
Stewie: [bleep] You lot.
[Stewie is underneath Brian's car, which comes to a cease. Stewie looks to the left and spots Herbert underneath a school charabanc.]
Herbert: Hey there, petty fella. Nosotros sure got a lovely twenty-four hour period for we, don't we?
Stewie: Stay away from my brother's barrel.
Peter: Hey, is that my froggy butt textile?

Internal Diplomacy [edit]

[Peter rear-ends another car behind him]
Peter: Oh, God! Buddy, I'yard so sorry! You okay?
[the door of the auto behind him opens and it is none other than the Behemothic Chicken]
Peter: Jeez, every cop in the boondocks is here.
Quagmire: I know. Who do ya call up's taking care of the city?
[Consuela is in the eye of an intersection]
Consuela: No. No. No. No. [mops a pool]
Driver: What the hell? Come on!
Consuela: No drive, is wet.
Peter: Billow-billow i-ix, what'southward your 20?
[indistinct blabber on the radio]
Peter: Aw, it's and then hot just knowin' you're in a truck.
Bonnie: You're right on fourth dimension, Kevin just woke up screaming from his afternoon nap.
Kevin: Mom, it's my birthday and y'all invited your friends?!
Bonnie: All yours are dead!
[Bonnie enters her room and aroused at Joe, Quagmire looks at the baby monitor]
Quagmire: Uh-oh! The infant monitor!
Joe: What? The babe monitor?
Bonnie: You cheated on me?!
Joe: Uh, I, uhh...
Bonnie: You bastard!! [Heads downstairs to the political party]
Joe: Bonnie, please!
Bonnie: Later on all I do for you, this is how y'all repay me!
Joe: Well, how do you lot think I felt when I found out you slept with that French guy, huh?
Bonnie: I never slept with Francois!
Joe: What?! Remember, Peter said--
Peter: Lois, didn't yous say that Bonnie slept with him?
Lois: No, Peter! I said she wanted to!
Joe: DAMN Information technology, PETER!!!
Peter: Now, hold on. In my defense, information technology is my experience that I am generally correct about most things.
Joe: Eh, You know what? It doesn't matter. Bonnie's been driving me away for some fourth dimension now.
Bonnie: What?! Driving y'all abroad?! Do y'all take any idea how difficult it is living with y'all?!
Stewie: They still accept one of TVs with the big fat dorsum.
Lois: Possibly, we should all leave.
Joe and Bonnie: NO!!!
Joe: Everyone stays! I want this to exist a disaster! Because, this has been a long-time coming! You care about nothing except yourself!
Bonnie: Yous son of a bitch! I got a license to operate a sex crane of you!
Joe: And I got earplugs so I could put upwardly with that (imitating Bonnie) horrible voice of yours. I'yard not an impressionist, but yous go the thought!
Bonnie: I perform purification rituals on my body after we accept sex! I detect it cleanses the immeasurable sadness of having lain with a wretch!
Joe: I WANT A DIVORCE!!!!!
Bonnie: Y'all got it!!!!
[Everyone sees Peter opening all of Kevin's presents]
Peter: Sorry I opened some of the gifts.
Chris: Does the Swanson divorce mean that I have to go live with Grandma and Grandpa?
Lois: No, Chris, it does not; that doesn't fifty-fifty brand any sense.

External links [edit]

Wikipedia

snydersuser1944.blogspot.com

Source: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Family_Guy/Season_10

You may like these posts

Post a Comment for "Okay Do It Again Watching Down Here"